DO I DESERVE?

From a kid to a teenager, I'm being tough watching my mum left and married to other guy.

Being tough without her existance.

Living up and brought up by dad and grandma in these years.

Slowly, mum wanted me back since few years ago but luckily she didn't brought the issue to court.

I've been with my grandma since I'm born.

She brought me to everywhere she goes.

She's the one who always beat me.

She's the one who always scold me.

She's the one who always nag me.

She's the one who teached me to be independent.

She's the one who does everything for me.

I knew she cared bout me although her mouth came out those feeling uneasy words.

Since 2 years back, our relation is being looser.

Now, we never talk to each other except for important stuff.

I never left her alone although my dad want to move away and asked me along.

Because I knew she will be very sad.

We always argue like cat and dog.

Sometimes I really hate her but sometimes I'm guilty for neglect her.

I wish to go back to the time we always talk and argue.

But now no more.

We just became strangers.

And yes, I pretend to be strong and fight back but I'm crying like a baby now.

I need back her care and tender.

I miss the days that I made her laugh and happy.

She's being alone for months.

I really felt sourish in my heart when I saw her alone and lonely.

I really really hope to be her lovely granddaughter like how I used to be last time.

Grandma, I love u.

Do u know that?